All these sins take away joy (Galatians 4:15 What has happened to all your joy?), since they are largely based on self-fulfillment, competition and comparison to others. This manipulative mode puts a destructive spin on all your relationships. Intimacy is compromised and self-service blinds you to your true needs in Jesus.

To get back on track and be builders of relationships, the focus has to get off you and onto what you can bring into every relationship you have. This ministry mode centers on the fact that Jesus provides you with everything you need and lets you be transparent in your relationships. Transparency leads to vulnerability, which leads to meekness (Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.) Meekness, or power under control, (Self-control) is a desirable fruit of the spirit that shows mastery over sins in your life. It is a strength and gift of the spirit (2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.)

If you cannot be transparent, you will never learn meekness, since you will not be able to endure the transformation process we speak of here, let alone begin a spiritual checkup of yourself. Transparency can be maintained by pluging up to the Holy Spirit in prayer and going through this checkup list example:

Becoming aware of the fruit of the sin in your life

A)...Conviction from Scriptures

B)...Self-awareness

C)...Through advice from others

Confessing your awareness to your mentor

Seeking advice on how to eliminate the pattern of thinking that leads to sin (Remember it begins in the mind: James 1:13-15)

Reporting on your progress of these things voluntarily

Sensitizing yourself (becoming more sensitive) to the slightest presence on any kind of thinking or behavior that will produce in you sinful fruit.

Answer the following questions focusing on your need to be transparent before God and yourself. Remember, you may think you don't have a problem with each of these sins listed, but there is a good chance that you may be blinded to it. Pray to the Lord to reveal in your heart what you must change as David did (Psalm 139, esp. v. 23, 24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.)

A)...In what ways am I proud?

B)...Are my ambitions godly or selfish?

C)...What does sex mean to me?

D)...Anger is destructive (James 1:20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.): What makes me angry? Have I repented and asked the forgiveness of the one against whom I vented my wrath?

E)...In what areas of my life am I a victim of addictive behaviors?

F)...Have I got professional jealousies, or jealousies in relationships?

G)...Workaholism is an immoderate love of work; laziness is an unreasonable love of idleness: towards which of these do I have a tendency?

Imagine Jesus sitting next to you: talk to him about your specific commitment to grow and change in one or more of these areas. If you find that you have several areas to work on, you may be overwhelmed. If this is the case, pray unceasingly to the Lord to work on these areas, and focus your energy on the areas that are most destructive in your life. He can and will answer your prayer and make you aware of the blessings you have that enables you to change with the Spirit's help. Remember, He has given you a new heart! (Ezekiel 11:19; 36:26) Always remember, however, that He accepts you even before you change. He loves you towards change, growth, and maturity. Let Him disciple you through your loving brothers and sisters so that you may be a reflection of His glory! Develop with your discipler an individualized plan for glorification. Include in it the specific behaviors you need to change and the spiritual habits you will use to replace the sinful ones that currently master you.

In order to assure your repentance is real, study out what godly sorrow and worldly sorrow mean from this scripture: 2 Corinthians 7:10-12

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. Following are the fruit of godly sorrow

See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.